I'm sitting in my living room on a Sunday night. A quiet evening with my brother. He's making dinner. A miss-match of leftovers reheated to perfection. There are so many things that I want to write about. The middle east is like a pot of water about to boil over. Syria, Lebanon, Iran, Jordan, Egypt... Prisoner X... the new Knesset and what the new governments and coalitions will look like... rock throwing... adverted terrorist attacks... Hamas... rocket drills... kids playing with fire crackers... the list goes on and on.
Enter my profound writer's block. With an endless list of topics, I am left with nothing to write.
Thankfully I've been lost in the simchot (happiness) that the Hebrew month of Adar has brought me. I have been overjoyed to have my great Aunt and great Uncle here visiting from America. We spent wonderful time together in Jerusalem. My friend gave birth to a beautiful little boy. The brit milah (ritual circumcision) is on Wednesday. I am likely to spend time in America visiting family and friends that I have not seen in over two years. I will probably get to spend Passover with all 3 of my siblings in Portland... the first time we will have all been together in over three years. I'm beside myself with the idea of spending a chag (holiday) with them.
I'm insatiably excited about the idea of seeing my family and friends in America. I can't wait to see the Pacific Ocean, a Laker game, my friends, my Grandparents, my Dad, my sisters. On the other hand I'm incredibly nervous about this trip. Time, life, experiences change people. Living in Israel for the better part of the last three years has changed me. I'm surely not the same person I was four years ago managing a Starbucks Coffee house. I'm surely not the same person I was 10 years ago living in Los Angeles, working in Beverly Hills. My nervous excitement to see familiar faces makes me want to count down the days until my flight leaves. The days until I make it to Grandparents dining room table to sit and talk and reminisce.
It's an amazing feeling to move 10,000 miles away, fully immerse in a culture, learn a new language, choose a new career, start a new life, be a new person. No preconceived notions. No history. All future. Bad habits have been kicked and new ones started. Priorities and passions have changed.
Here, in Israel, I am so American. I'm told that people can tell I'm American because I say "please" and "thank you", along with the fact that I actually slow down for speed bumps. I just know that in America, I will feel so Israeli. My struggle over the past three years has been embracing change while keeping my own roots. I know who I am and where I came from. Without the familiar faces and conversations, memories tend to fade and get stored away in a file called "a different life". I have trouble melding them all together.
Thank Gd, for the most part I really love my life. I have a roof over my head, food in the refrigerator, and a few shekels in my pocket. I'm good to go.
It's all part of the adventure. All I can do is hold on tight and enjoy the ride.
Although my writer's block's grip is chocking back the words I truly want to express, I don't think I have much more to say. I am excited about what the future has in store. The holiday of Purim is in a week, plane tickets are being bought, and travel is on the horizon.
Have a safe Purim, and enjoy the Hebrew month of Adar... a month of happiness!